Parents: a Portrait

Parents and parenthood are so important. I've seen lots of different types of parents in my line of work... but I've wanted to keep my opinions to myself for two reasons: one, most of my observations are negative. Anyone can rant. Two: I'm single and childless. Even I would be annoyed if I voiced lots of opinions about parenting. However, I love parents and parenthood... and this week I was reminded why.

As someone going into education, one hopes to go into a rough area and offer enough truth and stability to influence some young people... make them value truth, see beyond their own noses, work hard... however, if students are deserts in need of cultivating, teachers come with about as much influence as a tablespoon of water. Parents, however, have this remarkable opportunity to change everything. Really. Everything.

This week, I sat across from a high school boy at the shelter. He wore the styles of his environment: rag thing tied around his head, pants seemingly hanging at his knees, gigantic necklaces suspended from his scrawny shoulders. His demeanor, however, was so different than what I've seen before. Every question I had for him was answered eagerly. Every suggestion I gave him for checking his work and fixing errors was promptly followed... I wondered what was making the difference for him.

I met the difference in the hall as we transitioned from tutoring to family time. His dad was tall, friendly, and obviously cared for his kids. In fact, his whole family was a picture of affection and support. Amazing, considering they live in a homeless shelter. During family time, everyone in the family wrote a "newspaper article" about themselves, and then shared it with the whole group. These were all lovely, and each worth the telling, but the father's "article" was an act of grace. He talked about each of his kids, and what was great about them. He talked about his wife, and why he valued her so much. He talked about his faith in Christ, and how God has always protected him and his family. He closed with, "If I am anything, I am blessed."

I know of families who own their own yachts, yet can't voice even an ounce of that kind of peace and love.

This is the point: First, fathers are so foundational. Godly, faith-based parenting can change everything. It can make your son seem rock solid among peers who are frantic and half-functioning. It can make your children kind, even when they spend all day in really unkind environments. It can also make your family a portrait of joy and love... even in a homeless shelter in the dead of winter.

As we finished up the evening activities, the father and his two sons started rapping Lecrae's "Indwelling Sin," while his wife and daughters looked on in amusement. If you've never heard that song, you should look it up. It will show you how intentional this father is when it comes to affecting and teaching his kids... granted, this was the first time a rap song made me kind of teary eyed... but the impact that this father had on his kids--against all odds--was awesome.


(P.S. I know lots of people who have had fathers who were anything other than ideal "foundations"... and those people have extraordinary lives of giving and functionality... I'm not saying you're doomed without a good father. God's grace is the only thing that decides anything. I'm saying fatherhood, taken seriously and executed intentionally, is an extraordinary means of grace... )

(P.P.S. Don't think I'm defeatist because of my comment on teachers being limited in their influence. Realizing the limits of the affects of secular education will be the only thing that keeps me in the profession. Teachers are faced with ignorance and godlessness... they contrive ridiculous theories about the former, and don't even acknowledge the latter... I am constantly mulling over what the implications are as a Christian educator....however, this I know for sure, if you find yourself in life with only tablespoon of influence... you'd better find the driest desert in which to pour yourself out.)