Of boats and enemies and work and so much good...

Boats...

I have this to say about my new background for this blog: I wanted one with ships and roaring waves and clouds which look more real than real clouds. But I found this one that looked like lined notebook paper instead, and it kind of struck my fancy. So here we are. (Blank notebook paper holds a lot of potential, after all.)

Enemies...

I stumbled across Psalm 3 two weeks ago, and I immediately decided it ought to be the theme of student teachers everywhere:

"O Lord, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me!"

If those sentences don't resonate with you, you obviously haven't stood in front of thirty bored 14-year-olds recently.

I'm tempted to read this Psalm and only this Psalm for the entire semester... but I've read some Psalms before... and I know there are lots of goods still to come.

Work...

Student teaching has made me a bit whiny. As Adam and those in my small group could tell you... it has been more than a little weighty on my mind lately. I confess that at one point I even said (outloud, no less!) "I'm tired of feeling like everyone is out to get me..." blah, blah, blah. Those comments are absurd, lack perspective... and they are irrelevant.

Thankfully, I'm surrounded by people who tell me things, rather than just listening to me. Listening is supportive, of course, but telling is a gift. Here are things they've said:

"If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't mean as much or be as valuable." (Okay, Adam, that isn't exactly what you said... but it was something to that effect.)

"God has brought you here, so he isn't going to abandon you."

and,

"God designs the struggles because they make you realize your need."

Good...

Student teaching isn't the only thing involving a kind of adversity... other things, like Adam being far away, my uncertainty about a future job, etc. all add to this season of intentionality and waiting and ... working. And the fear of failure is lingering in the background at every moment. And a sense of scrutiny and critique is all around. But it is good. It is all for good. It is hard to explain how everything has seemed to come together to painstakingly spell out this lesson everyday... in Genesis, work and struggle is there to remind us of the sin we live under. So relish the difficulty... let it remind you of the terribleness of sin... in Mark, Jesus held his disciples accountable for their fear even in really scary circumstances... he doesn't coddle... but he changes us, and he saves us.... and that is a greater gift and a greater mercy... in church, John Mark reminded us that hard things... laboring for and imploring the Lord for blessings reminds us of our need, reminds us of his ability to provide, and makes us humble... this is much better. Much better than feeling upset that the Lord has me way outside of my comfort zone. He wrote this chapter, he will be evident in it. Hopefully, on the other side, I will be tougher and more patient and more joyful and more enduring and more confident that the Lord has done these things than I would have been otherwise... "The Lord did this." That will be the theme of student teaching, and whatever comes next.

So in this season... with lots to do and no real sense that I am at all competent to accomplish these things... there is so much rest.

"I lay down and slept; I awoke again, for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around. . . Salvation belongs to the Lord."

Psalm 3:5-6, 7a